Seize What you WANT!

 Can I ask you something? If you had one shot, one opportunity, to seize everything that you ever wanted, would you capture it?

Would you run towards the opportunity or would you stop and analyze every single detail? 

Think about it. 

My entire life I have been the “good” girl. I’ve been the girl that has overanalyzed every single situation I have ever been in. I’ve stayed on the well beaten path. But, I’ve had a longing to take the road less traveled. I’ve always felt that based on my family dynamics that I had to be the mature one, the “motherly” one, the one to not make anyone else worry. That need to please everyone else around me only served them and not me. 

I recently watched Tik Tok and in the video clip Steve Harvey said to write down 300 things you want within the next year and read the list everyday. Read through it, pray about it, manifest it, and work for it. Sounds easy- make a list and make it happen. The hard worker in me says to keep my head down and keep grinding that my future is bright. Keep doing what you’re doing. The rebel in me says to do what makes me happy. Shouldn’t we be happy while working towards our life goals? Shouldn’t everyone be able to go off the beaten path to try something new whether it is professional or personal?

Martina McBride once wrote a song about a Happy Girl. It still is one of my favorites. I used to blast this song out in my car- top of my lungs! 

I used to live in a darkened room

Had a face of stone

And a heart of gloom

Lost my hope, I was so far gone

Crying all my tears

With the curtains drawn

My happily-ever-after wasn’t very happy. Everyday I got up, grinded, alone. I spent nights crying in the shower, praying that one day the pain would no longer be there. Praying that my children would not be able to look at me and see my sadness. I put on a front. I could honestly have won an Oscar Award. Had I really achieved everything I wanted in life? Heck no. I felt like I was dying on the inside because I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I felt I didn’t have a choice.I felt that I couldn’t choose myself without being selfish.

I used to hide in a party crowd

Bottled up inside

Feeling so left out

Standing in a corner wearing concrete shoes

With my frozen smile

And my lighted fuse

I am not easy to love. I am honest about who I am. I am a ball of energy. I love to dance, joke, and be silly when I'm comfortable with you. I’ve been called feisty a few times. I try to make everyone around me feel at ease. I’m proud of who I am. I have worked hard to become her. However, on the inside I used to feel frozen and unseen because I was. I lied to the most important person, myself. Living a life I dreamed of without being who I really am was a lie. A bold faced lie. In my family, we don’t tolerate liars. I knew that I needed to work on myself, I still do. I am the only person in this entire world that knows what I want out of life. I can’t put my happiness on someone else- happiness comes from within. 

I’m a happy girl

Everybody knows

That the sweetest thing that you’ll ever see 

In the whole wide world

Is a happy girl

Laugh when I feel like it

Cry when I feel like it

That’s just how my life is

That’s how it goes

Oh, watch me go

I’m a happy girl

And I’ve come to know

That the world won’t change

Just cause I complain

Let the axis twirl

I’m a happy girl

Oh, watch me go

I’m a happy girl

Everybody knows

That the sweetest thing that you’ll ever see

In the whole wide world

Is a happy girl

I will no longer pretend that I’m not sad or say it’s okay when I have been hurt. If you hurt me and lose me, that’s your fault, not mine. If you don’t like me, that’s your fault, not mine. If you chose to put your loyalties elsewhere, go for it. If you want something different than me, go for it with my blessing. I will wish you well on your journey. I will also send you a sympathy card because you just lost the realist girl on your team. 

You see, when the heart stays open anything you want is in reach. You can literally capture everything you want. You will get up and grind daily because that’s who you are. It’s who I am. There are so many things that make me happy that I used to take for granted-these are the things I WANT. 

Simple mornings. 

Oh, to wake up lazily and roll over to see the sun streaming through the windows is my favorite. I used to jump up the second my eyes opened and tried to start my day. Those few extra minutes in bed feeling gratitude changes my mindset. The day is going to start whether I am ready or not. I deserve those few minutes to enjoy the simplicity. 

A good cup of coffee.

If you know me, I love an ice-cold Diet Dr. Pepper or Diet Coke. However, something is magical about a good cup of coffee, sitting on the back deck, and watching the sunrise. 

A hug. A tight, heart-to-heart hug.

This makes me tear up just thinking about it. Have you ever had a rough day and someone just grabs you, pulls you close, and holds you? At that moment, all of those emotions just want to pour out. Those hugs are healing. Those are the hugs we all deserve.

A rainy Saturday.

I recently read that trauma is the reason some people can never just sit down. I agree with that. Always feeling the need to be up and moving- trauma response. I’ve recently learned that it’s okay to fall asleep on the couch while reading a book. It’s ok to spend lazy rainy Saturdays baking in the kitchen or snuggled on the couch. 

A hot bubble bath with a good book and a glass of wine.

Enough said. That’s my favorite thing in the entire world. 

Handwritten notes. 

My office secretary wrote me a note a while back. She actually writes them frequently. She took the time to handwrite the sweetest words. Those words and her time and effort to do that, made my week! I’m a sucker for a good old handwritten thank you card or love note.

Keep your heart open. Keep your heart open to who you really are. Go after what you want. Seize every opportunity that serves you. If it no longer serves you, it’s okay to let it go. 

So, will you go after what you really want? Will you take the chance?